A Friend Loves at All Times

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity." 

Proverbs 17:17

It's taken me a while to write this post about friendship.  My mind has been full of what I want in a friend and what scriptures say about friends/friendship.  I have been examining relationships with my friends as well as looking at myself and evaluating what kind of friend I am to the people in my life.  The following are my thoughts and desires.  I know there's much more I could say (and want to say) but it's hard to find the words.  I just hope that this post makes sense!

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."
Galatians 5:22-23

I honestly believe that two stable foundations of any good friendship is the Golden Rule & the Fruit of the Spirit.  You can't fail if you treat other people the way that you wish to be treated.  Study the fruits of the Spirit and apply them to your relationships.

Here are the two things I want in a friend:

• A Good Listener:  I want a friend that actually listens to me.  And not just one that hears my words but one that understands the emotions behind what I'm expressing.  I also want them to be truly interested in what I'm saying rather than waiting for the opportunity to change the subject or make it all about them.  This means that I need to be a good listener, quiet, slow to speak, interested and compassionate about what my friend is sharing with me.

• Invested:  We all want friends who are invested in us.  I want a friend who is willing to make time for me in their busy schedule.  Not on a daily basis by any means, but someone who will wants to spend time with me in fellowship and makes sure to do so.  I also believe this means a friend who honestly cares and knows what is happening in your life.  Think about the ladies (or gentlemen) that you call friends.  Do you know what is happening to them?  Do you know what they've struggled with recently?  What has blessed them?    What do they need at the moment?  So, in return, I need to show my friends that they are important to me.  I need to make time for them, listen to them and support & encourage them in whatever ways the Lord leads me.

This is a very personal example but I think it really expresses what I mean.  Mr. Clark & I have a desire to add another sweet baby to our little family.  We've been trying for a while and recently I thought I was pregnant.  My sweet friend, Rebecca, came to my house the day that I took the pregnancy test.  We huddled together in my tiny bathroom and hovered over the test, anxiously awaiting the result.  It was negative and, seeing my disappointment, she immediately distracted me with some anecdote.  She was truly invested in what was happening to me.  She came to support me, was hopeful with me and lifted my spirits when I was starting to feel sorry for myself.  I am blessed to have such a friend.  I hope that I have been a blessing to her as well.

"Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves." 

Romans 12:10

I know that I can be irrational, emotional and just plain dumb sometimes.  It's a true friend that will patiently bear with me during these times in my life.  I also know there have been times when I've given up on friendships because I've been hurt, been angry or was just too lazy to bother anymore.  I pray that the Lord will heal the hearts of the friends that I've hurt along the way.  I am also praying that He will cultivate His love, compassion, patience and gentleness in me so that I can not only be a good friend, but a blessing to those I come in contact with.