The question on my mind this week is: When do you prune the friendships in your life? As I mentioned in my earlier post, I've been evaluating my relationships lately and there are some that need to be pruned for one reason or another. Most friends drift apart naturally and, for the most part, that's what has happened to most of mine. There are a few however that I've had to say farewell to.
There are the odd few relationships that I've had to really think and pray about. One lady commented on my last post that she had backed off on several relationships because she was always the one giving. I know exactly how she feels, as I'm sure you do too. What do you do in these cases? For me and the lady who commented, we simply backed off. When you come to the realization that you're not getting anything in return it's time to let go. Don't let hurt and anger ruin a friendship, especially if the other person doesn't realize that they're being too selfish or too needy. Retreat before it gets to this point. In these cases I've prayed for the Lord to provide someone else to bear patiently with that person and to meet their needs in a way that I obviously couldn't.
Another time to prune relationships is when you're clinging to someone in hopes that the person needs/wants you as much as you need/want them. I've also had one of these friendships. I was the one clinging to a drowning relationship. I had high expectations for this person that they either didn't want to or simply couldn't meet. I then became hurt when they didn't meet my needs. Then I became angry.
Do you see the pattern here? Hurt and anger when a "friend" does all of the taking and never gives in return. Hurt and anger when a "friend" doesn't meet your expectations. If that's how you've been feeling lately then maybe you should step back and pray that the Lord will give you guidance on how to continue. If you're not being encouraged and edified by the friendship then maybe it is time to move on. Obviously you would still keep in touch with those ladies (or gentlemen) and would most certainly be available if they truly needed you. But we all need friends in our lives who are going to encourage us in our roles as wife, mother, sister, daughter, daughter of Christ. As I mentioned before, we need friends who seek our fellowship, advice and encouragement as much as we seek theirs.
I understand that we're called to be a light to the world and to love our neighbors. When I think about these things it's hard not to feel guilty when you're stepping away from relationships. Again, pray to the Lord for guidance and trust that He will meet that person's needs (with or without you!) and He will meet your needs (without or without them!)
What to you think? Am I right? Am I wrong? I truly believe the key is taking everything before the Lord.
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